I am so tired of this phase of life. I’m sick of living on a skeleton budget and would love to be able to go shopping and not have to worry about finances. I wish life would just hurry up. Have you ever been in this phase of life?
My husband is currently going to school. Unlike most people, we did things a little backwards. He joined the military at 17 and got out at 25. We got married shortly after and then he went to school. During this time of school, we have depleted our savings accounts and are living pay check to pay check. He goes to school full time and works part time…and we live on a part time paycheck. We have cut practically everything out of our budget so we don’t get into debt. This is not easy. Add two babies and it is rough at times. I can’t wait until he is done with school and can get started in his career.
“O LORD, rebuke me not in your anger, nor discipline me in your wrath.”
I hit an all time low as my husband finished up summer classes. It is usually in these lows that the Lord graciously corrects and places us back on track. I feel like Christian in Pilgrim’s Progress, constantly going astray. I remember a time when I gave advice to a newly wed whose husband would also be going through school. “This is your life and where God has placed you. Don’t wish it to hurry up.” Not too bad, right? If only now I can swallow my own words.
“Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am languishing; heal me O LORD for my bones are troubled.”
That is precisely what I need to do—swallow my own words. I need to ask the Lord for forgiveness for not being content in my situation. For complaining and coveting other people’s life situations. For pride and conceit.
“Turn, O LORD, deliver my life; save me for the sake of your steadfast love.” Psalm 6
As much as life is rough, the Lord’s mercies are new. He has provided more than we can ask or think during this phase. The scraps from the Lord’s table are life sustaining; great is his faithfulness. As I think back to the many times where the Lord has given us an unexpected blessing, I shudder at my former thoughts. He is gently guiding us through and taking care of us. What do I give in return? Complaints, grumblings, and discontentment.
Wishing life to hurry up is not the right answer. Instead, I should be content in whatever situation the Lord has placed me. When we dwell in the future for too long, we can easily miss what is right in front of us. As much as life can be difficult, the Lord is in control and we can focus on glorifying him in the mean time.
For Further Discussion:
8 Things Contentment Opposes by Tim Challies