Cup of Coffe on Book

“So…What do you DO all day?”

Given the amount of times I have been asked this question, it deserves looking at. Since I have been married, I have not had an official job. We had a honeymoon baby so I was a “stay-at-home wife” for nine months before going into the “stay-at-home mom” category.

A frequent question that I got first was, “So, where do you work?” Everyone has jobs now a days, right? Included wives and mothers. My response, “I am a “stay-at-home wifey.” Pause…..questionable stare…. “Oh…So, what do you do all day?” At first, I felt guilty about not having a formal job (no baby at this point in time). I felt guilty because of the messages I get from society, media, and even family. Most of the time for women, there is a push to be outward oriented instead of family oriented.

Because this society has degraded the role of wife and mother and look down on women who stay at home, society has stereotyped these women as good for nothings and doesn’t see homemaking as any benefit. Or if they see some benefit it is minimal. Examples:

Women teachers are hailed as heroines for teaching the next generation children, yet, if they teach their own children they are belittled.

Women doctors are hailed as breaking through the glass ceiling, yet, if they nurse the wounds of their children they are despised. Women who cook for other people in a five star restaurants are talented, yet, if a women makes a spectacular meal at home for her family her job is put into question with questionable stares.

One of the major effects of the gender war, is the threat of one’s sexual identity. If someone doesn’t know their purpose, their role, their moral compass, they are like unmanned boats drifting out into the sea—being driven and tossed by the wind—roaming here, roaming there with no purpose. What makes a woman a woman and what makes a man a man? Identity is everything. This is basic philosophy. Unfortunately, philosophy is not taught now a days so many children and adults don’t know how to wrestle with the most basic fundamental questions that have been asked as far back at 585 B.C. Men and women must have purpose. And it is not whatever one wants to do. This is unrealistic and unloving.

What I strive to do in my day is to fulfill my Biblical job as a woman. I keep my house managed. I strive to be thrifty and lessen the load of my husband’s curse. By me saving money, it is less money that he has to go out and make to provide. My husband has allowed me to go out and buy a house. He is swamped with school and work and does not have the time for searching for a cheaper housing option. He has delegated that responsibility to me and starting next month, we will being saving half of what we are paying for rent and investing vs throwing money away renting. In the next four years, we would spend $36,000 in rent. We will now be able to invest that into a house. My husband has said there would be no way he could have done that without me. I am his helper.

I am satisfied in my role because I see the value in it. When the value is lost, the purpose is seemingly worthless.

It’s just like cash money. If crisis were to hit, paper money would almost be worthless. People will be trading gold, guns, food, materials for essentials. The value of money would be lost. It’s the same with women’s roles. If men do not value the role, women won’t either. If women don’t see the value in their role, it would be seemingly worthless. If men see money as more important, men will want their women out in the work force instead of tending to the home and children.

The woman was created for the man. This is GOOD!

Do you believe God when He Himself has said that it is GOOD?

It is when I finally understood that that my purpose and my role was GOOD that I believed God, took my identity as a woman seriously, and I have been liberated. I am content and satisfied in being my husband’s helper. I am joyfully at home. So when people ask, “What do you do all day?” I will say, “I am helping my husband take dominion over his world.” Genesis 1:28

About Nicole Leaman

Nicole Leaman is a wife and mother of two daughters. With a degree in Criminal Justice, she actively blogs about social matters regarding women and culture.

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