So, now that I have the wonderful joy of getting to be a husband to look forward to in life, the topic of marriage has been a frequent one. I have discussed it a good bit with my wonderful woman, and have had conversations with in-laws, friends, and coworkers. Unfortunately, there are a huge number of ideas about marriage out there, and not all of them are just as good as others. But I love how her and I see eye to eye about marriage; I am so blessed!
I like things that work, I like success. Unfortunately, there is no real ‘guaranteed’ success in life, most especially marriage. But I do think there is perhaps a certain aspect of where we can say that there is a ‘guaranteed success.’ Scripture gives us some pretty good guidelines. People have written about marriage, sex, and love for centuries and there are countless books out there. I certainly don’t think that I have it all down, but I do hope that, by God’s grace, maybe I can contribute something. If nothing else, pass along what I have learned from others.
So the question that was posed to me, by my in-laws, when they put me on the spot, was what do I believe is a successful marriage? My reply was that a marriage is a success to the degree in which it represents the Trinity, and to the degree in which it represents Christ and His relationship with His Bride.
I didn’t say it at the time, but something my Lovely and I believe, is that it is NOT about happiness. Too many people marry because they want to be happy, but you can never find happiness by chasing after it. The Lord says that we are to seek first the Kingdom, and everything else will be added. Happiness is never a guarantee, but as long as we are as a couple, truly representing Christ and his beautiful Bride; then we are necessarily a success.
This is because marriage was created from the very beginning to represent the love that God has; man and woman were created for the very purpose of giving glory to God, by imitating His love; by telling His great love story! A great example being Hosea, called by God, to love a prostitute, named Gomer. She left him time and time again. That relationship, where he pursued her relentlessly, despite her sins against him, does a wonderful job of representing God’s love, and even Christ with His bride.
Was Gomer satisfied? Was Hosea happy? Well, I am pretty sure he suffered a good amount of pain and heartache. But we ought to rejoice that marriage is not about happiness, it’s about so much more! The cosmic love story, that God created the entire universe for. The angels are the audience, we are the supporting actors, and the entire universe is the stage. All His plan, from the beginning. To the degree in which we love like this, is to the degree in which our marriages are a success.