Looking back at the last two weeks, we have considered that children by and large learn behaviors through the people they interact with the most. If a mother of the family is dominant and “wears the pants”, the daughter could potentially mimic and do the same thing. If the father of the family is ‘whipped’ so to speak, the boys will most likely grow up to be followers instead of leaders. Our boys need to grow up knowing the weight of their responsibility: they will be the ones [primarily] who will be held responsible for their family (Responsibility/Headship: Gen 3:8-13 & 1 Cor. 11:3, Protection-Josh. 1:13-14, Providing-1 Tim. 5:8, Spiritual: Eph. 5:26). Although I have heard so much that “we need to train our boys to become men.” I have not heard very explicitly, “We need to train our girls to become women.” This is a command….to “train” younger women to be ‘true’ women so to speak (Titus 2:3-4). It is because culture has distorted woman’s role/biblical femininity that I cannot say without someone getting ‘offended’ that “Women should submissive to their husbands in everything” (except with direct disobedience to God). Everything. If you find you do not like that I can guarantee you that if you dig deep you will find sin in your heart.
Pride. Arrogance. Rebellion. Selfishness. Conceitedness. I know this because I found these roots in my heart in regards to femininity and masculinity. Women (more specifically wives) are called to be/do the following: Helper: Gen 2:18, Care Taker: Titus 2:3-5, Ultimate image of beauty: Song of Solomon, and Submissive to husbands: 1 Tim. 2: 12.
In the second week, I talked about the seeds that were sown early in my life and the product I reaped was masculinity. I can’t say it enough that this was not done intentionally by my parents. None of this was done with the attitude of: “Oh, I want her to be masculine so I will not say anything and lead her down a masculine path.” Who I was came from a sinful and deceptive heart. It was because of Christ and His sacrifice that I could be redeemed: not just spiritually, but with every aspect of my life. We as Christians are not just called to become saved and live our merry lives with no changing. We are called to sanctification. To fix what is broken.
We as Christians should be redeeming everything we come into contact. Our families, church, schools, friends, extended families, neighbors, everyone we come into contact with. Redeeming…to recover sinful distortions into what they were intended to be. God made Adam and Eve perfect. He created their relationship with Himself and with each other perfect. When sin entered into the world, everything-to include creation-was tainted by sin and became distorted. Our relationships became distorted. Our deepest most intimate connections became distorted. Femininity became distorted. Masculinity became distorted. When I was born, I inherited distortion. After I realized (through God’s magnificent grace alone) that my life was horribly masculine and I was living a distorted life, I began the process of becoming who God made me to be: a true woman. My dress, my speech, my walk, my attitude, and soul was becoming more feminine. I didn’t know how bad everything was until I tried to fix it. Imagine a 25 year old trying to walk with her hips and a sway instead of with her shoulders and like a horse rider that just got off a horse after 4 hours of riding… it wasn’t pretty. If anything it was like the one funny part out of a bad comedy.
My hope and prayer is to encourage women to stand down. To get out of man’s arena (where he ultimately flourishes in) and to get into women’s arena (where she will flourish in). When women go into man’s realm, we are taking their masculinity away. They are not true men when we as women are not true women. When women become the primary protectors and the children run to the women for protection (police officer: mom-librarian: dad). When women become the primary means of providing (CEO: mom-stay at home: dad). When women are the primary spiritual leaders of a Christian home (who is teaching the children to follow the Lord…mom or dad? Who is seen as the spiritual leader? Mom or Dad? Kids aren’t stupid….they know.) The Lord will hold the heads of the households primarily responsible for what goes on. “The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” Genesis 3:12. God calls Adam to give the account and the distortion began: He blamed God and Eve for what happened.
Kids are sponges. They will soak every distortion up. Praise the Lord for His grace in our children’s life. If it wasn’t for His mercy, “The Lord of the Flies” would be our reality. Although the Lord is sovereign and has 100% control over everything, this does not mean that we step back and not teach our children. We need to teach and train them in the way of the Lord. We need to teach and train the boys to be men and girls to be women. It will be much more difficult (and hypocritical at times) if we don’t act or even know what true manhood and womanhood look like. I implore you to dig deeper, examine your heart, and become the man or woman God intended you to be…. its liberating. Your children and your children’s children will thank you.
“Shall a faultfinder contend with the Almighty? He who argues with God, let him answer it.” Job 40:2.